I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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