if i can run in heels then i can drive
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
