this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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