You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
