I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
