Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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