We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
