Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
this just has baby written all over it
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize