HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Pants are for mortals
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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