party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize