i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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