remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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