I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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