Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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