Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize