I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
