it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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