fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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