I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
