Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
