So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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