Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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