Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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