Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
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