Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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