Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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