I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
