THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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