dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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