Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
