ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
