I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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