Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sext me about skeletons
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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