My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
