Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize