Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
