Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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