just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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