If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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