i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
