Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
