garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
