when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize