please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
it glows. i had to have it.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
