I only kidnapped one of them. chill
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
