I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
