every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
