She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Randomize
