Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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