Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
