Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
