There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
