We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
