Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
