i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
