the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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