We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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