your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
