he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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