i was born a porn star she said
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
