The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize