:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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