she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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